It's the end of the week, late at night...
May I take a break from books for a bit and be contemplative?
(I did just finish reading a book that was very satisfying all the way to the end and I can't wait to tell you about it, but right now... now for something completely different)
(Oh, have you heard the song "We Are Done" by the Madden Brothers? As in, Joel and the other guy from Good Charlotte? It's super 60's and very pleasing. I just heard it the first time the other day, and now it's on repeat as I write this. Makes me think a bit of "Hair")
Like I said, it's the end of the week. I realize it's only the middle of July, but somehow I feel that summer is ending as well. Summer never really started for me this year, not that freedom, that wild summer feeling that I felt last year and the year before. Somehow it didn't arrive. There was too much stress and not as much hope, too many projects and not enough dreams.
And so, so much rain. I was putting together a project that was initially going to be fun and summery, and slowly it turned into a sort of grim piece that was running out of my control, and bringing out all these weird pieces that I wasn't intending... I'm sticking with it, but I feel really weird about it, because it's kind of personal but super abstract? and I don't know where I'm going with this because I can't be explicit about it, but the point is that you put a tiny piece out there and somehow it sucks out a greater glob of your own self and your own secrets than was originally intended, and it's just sitting there in a sort of half-formed glob, and you can't put it back in the jar, so...
Well anyway
I have so many projects crashing down all at once. Did I write about the 30 day fitness challenge here in May? Well I am doing 30 days again... it's day 28, and I've fallen off the wagon so many times, made excuses... allowed other things to stand in for the prescribed workouts that I promised myself I would do.
Last time I was living on my own. Does that change things? Having everything under your own power and control?
I'm running. It's something.
I'll allow the hour and the general melancholia to answer for my lack of direction at this stage, but the same cannot be said for my daytime foibles and mistakes, my rushed hours and my half-painted cardboard fans. My head battles my heart, and both of them battle time and the so-called "necessities" of our modern lives for priority in action. Hey, did you know you can buy sparkly glitter spray paint at Walmart? It's gonna be great.
Do you guys like fashion? I super do. The
fall collection from Wildfox hit my eyes today, and it's super goddamn rad.
What else, blog?
Recently, two people gifted me with dresses. They are dresses I would never ever buy for myself, in styles that I just don't do.
And they are the fucking best dresses I own, pardon my French. The things you think you aren't, you might actually suit very well.
So chew on that, why not?
