Blog move!

Hi friends!

I moved everything to wordpress. You can read me here:

https://emilyarchive.wordpress.com/

New address, same bat content!

Things I Love Thursday - relaxing

It's actually Wednesday as I type this! I thought, to actually deliver on a Thursday, I should start a day ahead of time.

But I'm so tired, so I think I'll just let myself sleep, and write more later...

....
...
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...aaaaaand look at that, it's nearly 10 pm on Thursday night and I'm just getting back to this.

The past couple of... months! Have been abnormal. But mostly in a really positive and exciting way. There's just far too many things to cram into one post, here's a few highlights that really made me smile from just this week:

♥ Reconnecting with friends for great times and great chats. I made some cool pacts with people, including the very awesome "We will have each other's back" pact. Ugh! Friends are so awesome! I was talking to someone the other night and finally unloading some decisions I was trying to make and I thought "You just GET me! I'm exactly the same way!!" and then I said it out loud because I knew she'd get it. And she did. Because we're exactly the same way about some things, but we're both dealing with our shit and it's awesome to see another perspective of someone dealing with the same garbage I deal with.

♥ Exercising again. Ok, I only did it for two days so far, but it felt amazing to really work my body and get a sweat going. I'm in the middle of trying to decide if I'm going to pursue one. more. race! this "season" (HA! This second year, more like) and just doing a workout DVD and running 4 measly miles really got my excitement up to do something.

♥ Art sales. Society6 had a sale and one of my favorite artists sells his stuff there, so I had a few beers and got down to shopping. Unfortunately the dimensions listed on the site were not accurate to what the print ended up being, so the frame I bought is too small... It's an illustration of the Thin White Duke and it's so beautiful and I am soooo excited to get it on my wall.

♥ Japanese Lantern Festival is happening near me this weekend, and hopefully I'll be out there to watch! Very much looking forward to that.

♥ Tonight I went on a boat ride. Hello relaxing, beautiful time on the water! I feel good when I'm on the water.

♥ The Future. I'm wearing shades because it's so bright!

♥ Frank Turner. He opened for a show I saw and I laughed so hard and danced like a crazy person. Then I ran home and got all his stuff on iTunes because it makes me feel good. I'm so sick of all the music I've been listening to, and this feels like a shouty little breath of fresh air.

♥ Imaginary Shopping. I am starting to "nest" my apartment for the fall & winter. It feels funny, because to start imagining things like a bedframe, or a reading chair (for my dream reading corner!!) makes it feel like I might stick around this place for longer than I thought. I don't need a bedframe or a chair, I just sort of want them and want the atmosphere that they would evoke in my apartment. But everything I want (there's a couple more things) are very expensive, so right now it's all just dreaming and cruising shops to see what is the craziest designs I can find :) Hot pink wingback chair?!?! It's definitely not my aesthetic and I don't want it in my apartment, but I like it in a crazy way.

Here's a few things I DID buy while dream shopping.... Adorable cat measuring spoons and cups, and a lovely trivet! Again, I didn't need fancy ones, and I try not to let my life's happiness be determined by things, but I also believe that if you're going to use kitchen implements anyway, they might as well be ones that give you a little infusion of joy. 

♥ Fresh Veg! Every time I go home to my dads, I eat or bring back some fresh garden vegetables. Tonight I have amazing tomatoes in my late-night chow down and they are just heavenly!

That's about all I can think of right now. I'm getting sleepy. 

Things I love Thursday: early edition

Hello! It's Things I Love Wednesday this week, because there is NO WAY that I'm going to have time to update tomorrow... And that's ok. To tell you the truth I'm writing this on my phone because time at home with my computer is just not a thing right now (Netflix, I miss you!! Haha not really). 

I forgot to make this list last week and to tell you the truth, these past few months have seen me flipping over my phone case several times a day and reading the fortune cookie that I've had there for almost a year. It says,

You will always live in interesting times

And that is no lie, my friends! It's been up, down, and sideways, not just in my own life, but with my friends, relationships, and the whole country (have you looked at the US lately? It's bananas!)

Things I love over the past two weeks include, 

Running as always! I never thought it would come to true love, but it has. 

Naked Nina's Juice Bar. It isn't cheap but to treat myself during this crazy week, I've had two fresh made juice blends and they have been beyond fantastic!! I feel inspired to make my own 😊

I may have complained, but I do love theater time. Working on a show can be a lot of different things, but it's always under the umbrella of an amazing mix of talent, passion, and hard-ass work. 

I love and adore my best friend Lauren. You know those memes where they say you should repost of you have a friend that you don't talk to often, but when you do it's like you were never apart? That's my girl! This week I texted her with "my life is crazy and interesting and I don't know what to do!" and she came back with nearly 2 hours of amazing advice and questions and support. This happens whenever I've got something on my mind 💕

I love the beautiful spring weather!! I've been able to go out and plant in my garden, run trails, run at night or early in the morning, and enjoy every single minute of being outside. Bliss!

Books and Jane Austen. The movie Love & Friendship is in limited release right now and will hopefully come to my city soon... And can you believe I've never actually read Lady Susan?!?! Shocking! Maybe that's why I wasn't let into the Jane Austen meet up group. Well, I'm reading it now because of course I had a copy in my collection. It's funny! And so mean. I'm so so excited reading something new... You only get this experience once, so I savor it. Especially with Austen! 

Wow that's all I can think of right now, my mind is in overdrive :) also I'm typing this whole trying to fold laundry, use toilet, help a friend with stuff, etc. makes it hard to focus hahaha, but I do love my life right now, as crazy and interesting and wild and challenging and rewarding and happy and uncertain though it may be!

Hot Summer Days

Happy Things I Love.... Saturday, I guess! It's only 1:45 in the morning on Saturday, so I'm counting this as Friday since I haven't properly gone to bed yet. I mean, I have gone to bed, and I'm actually writing this in bed, but I took a long nap after work and now I can't sleep properly.

It's stupid. This is how naps ruin lives! But what's not stupid is all the awesome things to love about this week.

City Life! I'm resettled into the city again after a few weeks spent house-sitting in the countryside, and although I love the countryside with all my heart (especially on beautiful summertime days, getting grubby in the dirt and relaxing on the deck) I know that I made the right choice in moving to the cities. Tonight I ran as the sun was going down, then walked the tail end in the dark. It reminded me of being back in Tokushima when I would roam the city at night on my bike (probably because it was so damn hot today).

Summertime. Dirt! Breezes! Blue skies! Birdsong! Patios! Windows down!




Kubo and the Two Strings! Tbh I'm not sure how excited I am about this... I didn't see Boxtrolls yet, which was the last thing this studio put out (it looked amazing). The stop-action animation is gorgeous. I wish there was more shamisen music in the trailer, and less kokyu... Because that kid is carrying a shamisen! A stupid complaint? Maybe, but not if the magical powers of his instrument is the whole point of the movie.

Connections. Lately all sorts of people are coming out of the woodwork... people I haven't spoken to in ages, new friends, passers-by. I wouldn't say I have a strong connection with everybody, but I keep seeing amazing sparks in people, and having a sudden sense of You! Oh yeah you! You get it! Amazing!

Hope your week is going well!

Things I Love Thursday - Quiet Things

Hi friends.

I hope your week is going well.

I wasn't sure how to write this list this week, because I've been so emotionally wrung out. Highs and lows took me on a terrible ride the past 4 days, and left me here tonight, spat out on my couch with dry but burning eyes. My confidence fell apart, my health fell apart, my running fell apart, but I am here now, still loving, still together.

I'm fine, everything is fine, I just need a moment to collect before I can move forward.

I think what I love most this week is quiet moments. I made plans three times for tonight... twice the other person cancelled, and I cancelled the final plan. Sometimes I don't know what's best for me -- no, that's not accurate. I know what's best for me, but I can't always follow through. It's hard to say "The best thing for me is to be home, alone, in my pajamas, without talking to anybody" when so much of my time is spent reaching for the exact opposite.

It's not that I don't love my personal time -- I do, I love my personal time, but knowing when it's really necessary when you're having a rough week can be a challenge. I kept getting in the car, and then getting out and walking back inside, confused and frustrated. I wanted to go somewhere, but I didn't know where. I didn't want to be alone with myself. But I'm glad I'm here now, even if it took a while to get here. I'm glad I said No.

My plants are doing pretty well. I like the atmosphere they make.

I kind of wish my stuffed bear would come to life. That would be pretty great. I would feed him zucchini and popcorn, because that's what I have to eat right now, and he would give me a giant hug and not maul me even a little bit.

We're watching silly shows on Netflix and cutting up T-shirts for arts and crafts. (I love arts and crafts). More popcorn for me, bear!



Oh hey also a big shout-out to my bestie friend Lauren who I love very much and who is is kind and wise, and a shout-out to my sweet lovely boss who lets me change my work schedule on the fly when I have things come up, and props to my manager who brought some A-game to me when I couldn't bring it myself, and love to my bestie friend who cooked for me and said kind things when I was beset by sadness, and extra hugs to Purrsia the beautiful sweet kitty. 

Also I love the rain.

(except I lost both my umbrellas... that was something I found out at the exact wrong moment).

(Love you anyway, rain).

Meetnope

I got rejected from a meet-up group earlier this week.

I got rejected from a Jane Austen meet-up group earlier this week.

Couldn't believe it.

JANE AUSTEN.

I was part hurt, part bemused, and part baffled. I'm definitely not the biggest Austen nerd around, but I'd have to say I'm a pretty goddamn big Austen nerd. I thought I had made that relatively clear.

Not being in the club, aayyyyy, I'm pretty OK with that now. If I'm not good enough to talk about Jane Austen with them, well, I probably don't want to anyway. But it was surprising.

And in a weird way, relieving.

A while ago I read that book about being amongst Janeites. Although I enjoyed it, it gave me some unease. Sometimes, I really like being around people who are the same nerd as me. Recently, I talked with someone who had a similar point of reference when it came to the media we grew up with. Instantly I was talking excitedly about old shows we used to watch, and stories we loved, and I felt that heady excitement that I used to feel when I was young. It was a kind of excitement that I rarely experience anymore... not for things I love today, and not for things I used to love. Sometimes, though, that excitement stops there. You can only swoon so many times over the same thing.

Sometimes, I prefer to talk to people who are nerds completely different from me. Recently, I talked with someone who was so nerdy that I had to say "I don't know what that is," and "I don't have the vocabulary to describe it to you." (I was trying to describe about a musical instrument that I knew and they didn't, but they speak music fluently and I don't, so our language was getting crossed and it was getting quite confused). And THAT got me all excited because sometimes, listening to someone else get excited about nerdy stuff they love is just as good as nerding out yourself.


With someone who is the same, I worry that I won't move forward. With someone who is different, I worry that I can't keep up. So I'm not sure if I even wanted to meet with the Austen meet-up people or not, in the end! Maybe it would have been fun for one or two times. Maybe I would have made some friends. Maybe we would have had tea and crumpets, or maybe not and I would have been disappointed. I'm not really hurt by the rejection after all. Even without a group, I still have Austen, and that's the thing I'm really here for.

Warm-up

I'm writing this as my warm-up to actual writing... hopefully it doesn't turn out to be too self-indulgent! But I want to get my fingers moving, and I am actually going to talk about writing and books and... sort of a follow-up to this week's Things I Love Thursday.

So here we are, or more to the point, here I am. On a couch, alone. There are two cats here with me, but they have claimed the chairs and left me to sprawl my giant human body on the love seat. Ha! Love seat. I love it here.

I'm far out in the country-side, and that's pretty far out, man.

Not a few moments ago, I was in the kitchen, getting my purse on, ready to head out the door. I would have driven to the city, stopped at my apartment, changed into a sparkly purple dress that rarely sees the light of day. Then I would have walked to the light rail, then ridden into Minneapolis for the all-night street and dance party for Prince.

I don't know why I would have done all that. I felt oddly compelled. But I couldn't figure out the reasons.

I started to get confused. What was my motivation? It wasn't to see anyone, I was going alone, telling no-one. I don't especially like crowds and dance parties, although I have enjoyed them in the past, going is always a gamble. I have to work very early tomorrow morning. It will take at least an hour to get to the venue. And, I'm sorry, Prince, but I wasn't the world's biggest fan. Of course I like you and your music, but I wasn't an especial fan. I am just an ordinary enjoyer of your music.

So, still confused, I took off my purse and left it on the floor. I stayed home.

What is this compulsion? I've been feeling it all afternoon, in that space of hearing of the death of a creative and wild person. I want my life to be vital and meaningful, even in a small way.

I think it's the compulsion to create.

My art supplies are at my apartment. My music is there too, and pianos are out of my reach at the moment. I can draw anywhere. I can write anywhere.

I can write here. I can write right now. I can write those things that I wrote two years ago, when I wrote 124 pages of rubbish, and 15 pages of gold. I guess how that's how long it takes to really warm up.

Lately, I picked up The Writer's Tale, which is a book that you'll hear me bang on about with glee, if you just wait around long enough. (I told you there was going to be a bit about books in this entry!) It may seem silly at this juncture, but although I'm not a writer in my blood, I'm inspired to write from time to time. I always thought that writers have a story inside them that is clawing to get out, but maybe that's not the case.

We have characters. And I do have a story, it's the story that I write for myself. I narrate my own life in my head, I have imaginary conversations and construct situations and events that may or may not come to pass... some of them my ideal happy ending, some of them horrifying and dramatic. Almost none of them come to pass, and I think sometimes I get so caught up in what I imagine should happen that I forget to give reality a chance... or I try to live life according to my imaginary script. You can guess how well that goes, I think.

The compulsion to do something, make all this exist somewhere other than inside my head.

Well, I think that's enough. Off I go.