My first year of library school has ended, which seems like a good time to start blogging about it again. I feel like I'm in a constant state of re-invention, as best evidenced by the fact that the two posts below were harvested from an earlier (now-deleted) version of this blog. (It would be nice to imagine that I could be so very productive on this Wednesday, but alas, this is not the case. This post is today's only original content).
What's happened in a year? Quite a lot, actually. I spent heaps of money, let us begin with that fact. School ain't cheap, but I feel proud to be paying my own way. It may be sad or arrested to be seen as living at home at age 27, but I'd really like to come out of this with no loans. There is the constant question of whether or not this education will be worth itself and all the cost in the end, and to that I say: Who knows? I think it will be. If it ends the same way my undergrad did (depressed, broke, adrift, lonely, heartbroken) it wouldn't even be that bad. I look back at that experience and the things that were born from it without (too many) regrets.
I say that only good things can come from this. You might say that there is no way to know that, but why should I believe differently? Why invite the bad in?
Other things that happened: I made friends. This is monumental. I found people that I love, people that I trust, people that I laugh with and share secrets with and feel happy with. I leave the house. I can connect with people face-to-face, instead of across papers, across screens. I'm overwhelmed by this.
Oh, and as of today, I started running! I did it a bit in university and overseas, but as of today, I am aiming for a 5k, which happens in 49 days. It's good to note that my running level at this moment is ZERO, so being able to do a 5k without totally dying is going to take actual dedication and not just assing around (will blogging about it help? STAY TUNED).
My all-time favorite blog-lady Lauren wrote in this post about her training for Warrior Dash by using the Couch-to-5K program, BPM tracks from Podrunner, and a totally awesome story-drama app called Zombies, Run!. I tried them all out today, and I can attest to the fact that once you get all the little fiddly settings just the way you want them, it makes for an awesome running experience. Check out her blog and her reviews! I feel like I can't say any more than she did, other than the fact that I had to edit the mp3s from Podrunner in order to get rid of the annoying schtick at the beginning.
So that's where we begin, I think.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
BARF "Entre Nous"
Yes! It’s the first installment of Books Are Real, Friends (BARF)!
In this episode, the book is Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl by Debra Ollivier.
As you can tell by her name, Debra has married French. And has written a book about it (being French, not marrying French).
Let me tell you, this book is absolutely my favorite non-fiction self-help (if you could call it that, really) guide book of all time. It speaks to the power of this book that I must admit I stole it. It belonged to a friend of mine, who lent it to me, and I never gave it back. I knew it was hers every time I picked it up, and I never felt bad about it. Instead, I felt that if I were to part with this book, even for a week as I waited for my own copy to arrive from Amazon (we were living overseas at the time, there was no immediate copy to buy), I would shrivel up and lose my way. Yes, I could have ordered my own copy and THEN given up my friend’s copy, but by then I was already weirdly emotionally attached to the floppy pages and the bent spine and the tape over the cracks and the funky vitamin stain on the back.
The mind boggles, I know.
At any rate, when I moved back to the US, I moved back into my childhood home, giving up my apartment & single life. I only had one room that was my own space, and so I took to heart everything that Ollivier said about le Boidoir. It is your own space, your head space, your place to dream. Your bedroom can reflect yourself, and is a very personal area, not for anyone else.
I worked hard on my room. I brought back two huge suitcases, and had five giant parcels shipped in with all my things from my old apartment. I had to reconcile all that with my childhood items, my nostalgia, and my new self. Yes, sometimes there were clothes scattered all over the floor and I forgot to vacuum. Yes, sometimes the books and unanswered letters piled high on my desk and rendered it unusable. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my space.
This is the lesson I took from Entre Nous, but the real story comes next.
A month or so after I got back in 2011, I had a friend over to visit. Someone I hadn’t seen in quite a while, the first person to visit me after my return, in fact. I was still adjusting to being home, felt nervous, out of place, etc. I cleaned my room very thoroughly, despite the fact that I had no intention of having my friend come in to the room. I just felt really good when it was done, and looking all neat and tidy, and so my mind felt very centered and tidy as well.
After chatting and catching up and having some dinner, my friend and I decided to watch an episode of Doctor Who, which I only had on computer (not on DVD). So I thought, because it’s so small, perhaps it would be best to watch in a smaller room. My room. My bedroom. My room of rooms.
Even though my brain was saying “No! No! Don’t do it!” and calling up quotes from Ollivier, I did it anyway. I let this person into my room. “Shut up,” I told that voice, “it’s just a video on the computer. I am American even if my soul is French.” I opened the door.
Immediately, he made a disparaging comment. A joke, but a very poor one, made awkwardly and in bad taste.
I deflated for an instant, terribly depressed, and then immediately cheered up. This is just like what the book said! Books are real! It’s all coming true, like in the book! I should never let people in my room unless they are already solidly in my heart! Screw this person who obviously doesn’t know me!
Don't get me wrong, I am still very American in my desires for some dark cowboy to roll through my window with a tip of the hat and not so much as a "Howdy, Ma'am". But he wouldn't be allowed to hang around in the morning and examine the contents of my bookshelves, if you know what I mean.
That’s it for the first episode of BARF! Thank you for watching!
(Is this something worth doing?) (I think that it is)
Introducing BARF
Despite this being a very young blog (this is the first post!), I’d like to put up a new project for consideration, and hopeful episodic content: Books Are Real, Friends (BARF). The nice thing is, you can also say “Books Are Real Friends!” with a simple twist of punctuation.
In this series, lets talk about how books become or influence our world, hopefully in a friendly way. Obviously this is most seen in self-help books or “true story!” type writing, but I think it can come out in fiction, as well. Books give us ideas and thoughts, which shape our reality and actions. Or they just give us those “ah” moments… See the next entry for the sort of thing I mean…
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