BARF "Entre Nous"

Yes! It’s the first installment of  Books Are Real, Friends (BARF)! 

In this episode, the book is Entre Nous: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl by Debra Ollivier.

As you can tell by her name, Debra has married French. And has written a book about it (being French, not marrying French).

Let me tell you, this book is absolutely my favorite non-fiction self-help (if you could call it that, really) guide book of all time. It speaks to the power of this book that I must admit I stole it. It belonged to a friend of mine, who lent it to me, and I never gave it back. I knew it was hers every time I picked it up, and I never felt bad about it. Instead, I felt that if I were to part with this book, even for a week as I waited for my own copy to arrive from Amazon (we were living overseas at the time, there was no immediate copy to buy), I would shrivel up and lose my way. Yes, I could have ordered my own copy and THEN given up my friend’s copy, but by then I was already weirdly emotionally attached to the floppy pages and the bent spine and the tape over the cracks and the funky vitamin stain on the back.
The mind boggles, I know.

At any rate, when I moved back to the US, I moved back into my childhood home, giving up my apartment & single life. I only had one room that was my own space, and so I took to heart everything that Ollivier said about le Boidoir. It is your own space, your head space, your place to dream. Your bedroom can reflect yourself, and is a very personal area, not for anyone else.

I worked hard on my room. I brought back two huge suitcases, and had five giant parcels shipped in with all my things from my old apartment. I had to reconcile all that with my childhood items, my nostalgia, and my new self. Yes, sometimes there were clothes scattered all over the floor and I forgot to vacuum. Yes, sometimes the books and unanswered letters piled high on my desk and rendered it unusable. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my space.

This is the lesson I took from Entre Nous, but the real story comes next.



A month or so after I got back in 2011, I had a friend over to visit. Someone I hadn’t seen in quite a while, the first person to visit me after my return, in fact. I was still adjusting to being home, felt nervous, out of place, etc. I cleaned my room very thoroughly, despite the fact that I had no intention of having my friend come in to the room. I just felt really good when it was done, and looking all neat and tidy, and so my mind felt very centered and tidy as well.

After chatting and catching up and having some dinner, my friend and I decided to watch an episode of Doctor Who, which I only had on computer (not on DVD). So I thought, because it’s so small, perhaps it would be best to watch in a smaller room. My room. My bedroom. My room of rooms.

Even though my brain was saying “No! No! Don’t do it!” and calling up quotes from Ollivier, I did it anyway. I let this person into my room. “Shut up,” I told that voice, “it’s just a video on the computer. I am American even if my soul is French.” I opened the door.

Immediately, he made a disparaging comment. A joke, but a very poor one, made awkwardly and in bad taste.

I deflated for an instant, terribly depressed, and then immediately cheered up. This is just like what the book said! Books are real! It’s all coming true, like in the book! I should never let people in my room unless they are already solidly in my heart! Screw this person who obviously doesn’t know me!

Don't get me wrong, I am still very American in my desires for some dark cowboy to roll through my window with a tip of the hat and not so much as a "Howdy, Ma'am". But he wouldn't be allowed to hang around in the morning and examine the contents of my bookshelves, if you know what I mean.

That’s it for the first episode of BARF! 
Thank you for watching!



(Is this something worth doing?) (I think that it is)