Let's start!
I love...
♥ SPRING! Is it here? I don't know! But from the next hour, it's going to be above 32, and well into the 40's, and staying that way for the next week! I can't argue with that, because...
♥ Running training begins! Oh boy, oh man. I last started my marathon training from this exact physical location, but such a different mental state. I can't tell if I'm in a better or worse place (both?), I'm definitely more prepared to begin... and yet...
♥ I'm uncertain; about my running, about my future, about my ability to be ok. And that's ok. I read something this morning about the disease of certainty and demanding certainty, and how allowing and embracing uncertainty will serve you more in life and happiness. That speaks to me in a weird way. I dislike the dichotomy of how you sometimes have to solve problems: Oh, you need security and certainty in your life? Well feel MORE insecure and uncertain, so that you can embrace the things that make you feel awful and anxious. But it's true... My genius friend and inspiration told us years and years ago to "Embrace the awkward!" and that holds true every day from now on out. Awwww, buddy!!
♥ Working out and watching Doctor Who. It seems like no matter if I work out in the morning, or when I get home after a late shift, Doctor Who is on the BBC exactly when I need it. Working out makes me feel awesome, and so does the Doctor. Today's workout episode is "Midnight", one of the really spooky psychological thriller episodes (so fucking creepy). I love the Doctor.
♥ NEW APARTMENT!! I'm so happy I can finally officially say this... It's the one thing I can say with certainty (haha). Yesterday I signed a lease, on lucky 17, to move in March 1, which is my birthday month and beautiful spring and all sorts of other great things!! I'm drafting up lists and plans and looking at home design books... it's such a good and happy adventure for me. Yesterday someone told me that some of her her happiest life times were living alone and being completely free, but she perhaps didn't realize it at the time.
I'm so thrilled to be going off on my own. It's been overdue for a long time now. I can't wait to transform my life and my own space, exactly as I please!
♥ Microbreaks. Over the weekend and for the beginning of the week, I deactivated my Facebook account and deleted a pile of apps from my phone. I've also deleted or unfollowed old messages, contacts, and other things that suck my time or don't make me feel good. I'm back on FB again (ahahah what can you do) because I had to connect with a theater group for scheduling, but it was so good for those days that I was off. I need to step back from pouring my energy down black holes. If you feel overwhelmed or just... crappy, take a break! Clear out some emotional and technological clutter. You don't have to disengage, but maybe engage with someone in real life instead. I would stare at Facebook, bored and alone, and wish I could talk to people, but the thought of calling them was weird. What would I say?
"Hey, talk to me?"
"About what, dude?"
"I dunno... about stuff?"
[awkward silence]
Oh wait, what's that thing we should do? Embrace the awkward??
Ahahahaha yesssssss...
♥ DUDE I love toasted raisin bread with real butter. Hello breakfast bliss!!
♥ Warm socks ♥ Cats sleeping on me ♥ Friends with jokes ♥ Clever people ♥ Running club Weekend plans ♥ Ice cold glasses of water with lemon ♥ My jasmine plant (it's beautiful like me!) ♥ Free books ♥ Library books ♥ Warm sheets ♥ Nicebear ♥ Waking up naturally ♥
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